I only worked with Presley for a short time in the mid 2000's. I didn't know much about her, but I remember that she was one of my favorite performers to watch on stage. Presley is not a big person, but on stage, she was larger than life. Beautiful and bubbly, she drew attention and dared you not to have a good time. A natural performer with style, grace, and cute as hell. Backstage I always found her to be sweet and charming.
She doesn't describe a happy home life growing up. She dropped out of high school, and when she began to look for some direction, she ended up curious about becoming a stripper. Cautious at first, and much to the dismay of the managers working, she spent weeks just observing the strippers before finally deciding to audition.
Despite her research, she still found herself utterly underprepared. But by the end of her first stage, she got over her jitters. Once she got the basics down, she learned how to engage the crowd. She came into her own and started to enjoy the empowerment. She sought out objectification and learned to use it to thrive under the lights and music.
Part of the job that she wasn't prepared for was the lap dances. For most dancers, the stage is the easy part. People that are drawn to this profession tend to have a natural inclination for performing. Getting back on stage after a bad night takes a strong sense of resilience.
The off-stage performance is a harder skill to master. Selling a fantasy on stage is much different than selling the fantasy to an individual. Presley learned to love being on stage but was disappointed that the most lucrative part of the job involved learning to flirt with guys she didn't necessarily like. Being on stage can make you feel like a rock star; lap dancing can feel more like you're competing with Meryl Streep for an Oscar.
Presley had been experimenting with drugs as she started out as a stripper. But an incident on her first weekend shift saved her from going much farther down that sketchy path. As she was about to go on stage for the first time during a busy shift, she went into the bathroom to smoke a cigarette. While in there, she heard moans and cries coming from one of the stalls. She investigated and found one of the top girls at the club on the floor — in the middle of a very obvious overdose. She called a manager, and the dancer was taken to the hospital. Presley never heard what happened to her.
But it was a pivotal moment for her. She watched a dancer who, to her, was the epitome of what she wanted to be, overdose — and possibly die. She felt like she had to choose between being a successful dancer with a good income, or drugs. Presley chose the former.
Despite her misgivings at the start, she found most of her clients and customers were respectful. She danced for many married men who had lost connection with their wives — men who felt their partners no longer made space for them in their lives. She was able to provide that space for them to be vulnerable and feel listened to.
Presley found camaraderie with most of the girls. She made a lot of good friends with the other dancers. It might be a fringe sisterhood, but it is still a sisterhood. There were many toxic elements to the relationships formed in the strip club, but there are times when these are the only people who really understand what you're going through.
When Presley was approached by a porn talent scout, she was interested. She knew of other girls who had good experiences and made a lot of money. The first guy whose offer she accepted flew her down to LA to shoot for various magazines. But when he took her to a clinic for disease testing, he revealed it was for a film they were to shoot together — something he had failed to mention before. She objected and said she was not willing to do that. She went home without incident.
She ended up doing a few videos another time and was happy with her experience. But her agent warned her about another agent who was asking about her for extreme porn. The man contacted her under a false identity. When she tried to leave during her shoot, no one was willing to help her get home, and he threatened her with legal action. Over several days, he and his associates raped her on film. They paid her less than half of the agreed amount and forced her to film a video claiming willingness. These videos still exist. When she sought legal help, she couldn't find anyone willing to take her case. She was shamed into silence for almost 15 years.
Later, she reached out to an organization that encouraged her to tell her story. They promised it would help others. But she would come to find out that this group wasn't any better than the scumbags who had raped her. Anti-porn evangelical groups exploit stories like Presley's to further their own agenda — rather than helping victims, they exploit their trauma to proselytize and push for the abolishment of all adult entertainment.
Despite all this, Presley doesn't believe that the adult entertainment industry should be abolished. When I asked her whether she thought sex work was, as a whole, a net good or a net bad, she said it was a net neutral. The problem is how women are taught to view themselves and their power of choice. Focusing only on the abuse and exploitation that happens in sex work is pointless if you ignore the abuse that happens outside of it.
Presley has no regrets about being a stripper. Her advice to anyone thinking about becoming a stripper or sex worker is to make sure they understand their own boundaries — to explore and be confident in what they're comfortable with or not, to stick to those boundaries, and to stay sober.
She now hopes to help couples and individuals explore healthy sexuality and relationships. Presley endured abuse and trauma as a result of being trafficked. Her intelligence and strength allowed her to overcome it. But she didn't just survive; she is determined to be a force for good in the world.